Crazy people in WalMart

Mentioning the criminally insane in Wal Mart in my last post made me think of this story and I thought, well hell, I may as well write about this too.

I was in a Wal Mart on Long Island. The original plan for me that day was that I was to train a new person, give him these stickers for a special project so he could complete it in the store that I am not writing about and every other WalMart on Long Island. As luck would have it, he didn't show up. Because of the nature of this project and that companies location, I was stuck running all over that God forsaken, hysteria-inducing, car-jamming island to complete the project.
That would be how I ended up in this store nearly in the middle of the island at the time of this incident.

It was late in the day, long before the days that the universe bestowed upon me a GPS. I'd already made half of the stops and I was tired and cranky. I pulled into the parking lot and headed into the store where I was greeted by a crowd of people milling about and acting like children because there was a puddle in the middle of the entrance way. Assuming it was water, or at worst, a spilled soda, I carefully walked through the puddle because I was that desperate to get done and get out.

As vendors, we were to sign in on a log at the front of the store. I was doing that and taking notes on prior visits that my boss had asked me get when suddenly time slowed. I heard someone yell, “oh my God, he has a knife!” As I was processing this, out of nowhere I am tackled by some guy and at the same time and seeing for the first time the guy with the knife, who was only an arms length away. Absolute panic settled in. “Is that guy gonna kill me?! Why is this guy tackling me?! Oh my God, I'm going to jail, they think I'm with the knife guy!! He's got box cutters!! TWO OF THEM!! Am I being held hostage?! Why is this guy still on me?!? Is he a bad guy too?! I'm going to die!!”

I'd have cried, but apparently when I am that scared, I can't cry.

It turned out that the guy who tackled me figured out that I wasn't aware of what was happening around me and thought it best to get me out of harms way. (I later thanked him)
So, how did we get to this point? As it was relayed to me, the crazy man with the knives was in the process of being kicked out of the store and decided he didn't want to go. In a stroke of genius he assume that whipping out his junk and peeing in the entrance way would void the decision to kick him out and he'd be welcomed back with open arms and a shopping spree. Enter Michele...(yes, my worst case scenario of a soda puddle, was far beyond my imagination allowed, I walked through crazy man piss. In shoes that were only days old to boot.) over the puddle and through the vendor log, to project land I go. At this same time, the crazy man realized he was not being welcomed back and pulled the knives.

Only a few minutes later, the police showed up and the crazy peeing man went away with two of the policemen relatively peacefully. The remaining officers stayed and took statements, including mine. It was then that I decided to get choked up and as I finished telling them what I could including, “I WALKED THROUGH HIS PEE!” I asked (or begged possibly), “I don't have to come back here, do I? I live 4 hours away and am only supposed to be training someone who didn't show up and I didn't see enough to testify and I don't ever want to come here again.” (ok, maybe I whined)

I don't know what worse...that I experienced that or that I went about doing that project like I was going to be stabbed if I didn't. I think a normal person would have packed it in for the day. Nope, not me. I did that and three more stores that night. I should be medicated.

Moral of this story? Don't walk through an indoor puddle.