People being People

 Generally, if I write about one of the more insane incidents in my life, I wait a few weeks, months or years so that time can get to work on healing my humiliation. I might also do it to protect the identity of the humiliator. I've decided to throw that out the window this time for a few reasons. First, it's so far beyond anything I could have imagined happening that the longer I keep it in my head the more crazy I begin to feel. Second, this about a person I've never met so I don't care so much if said person reads it and feels like a dumbass. Third, (maybe fourth or fifth even...I'm undecided about my level of angry belittling at this point) a small, cruel part of me hopes this person reads this and feels small and stupid.

 Recently, an old friend of mine found me on facebook. He sent an email to say hello, how ya been, let's catch up. I responded with my own short email basically saying, 'hey, long time, good to hear from you, give me a call sometime' and gave him my number. A few days later I received a text message saying, 'Hey, it's (person you email) maybe we can catch up on old times. I responded and conversations continued via text over a period of three weeks. There were a couple of live conversations during that same time and even though at a few points I'd wondered if he'd been drinking during some of the texted conversations because some of what we talked about was being repeated, I chopped it up to bad memory.

 I seriously need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt.

 As time went on, I nearly decided that even though we were having nice conversations on the phone catching up on the goings-ons of the last decade, I was going to stop talking to him because the texts messages were getting more and more offensive...which was very unlike the person I remembered him to be. Because of that, and because of the fact that I far too often give people the benefit of the doubt long after they deserve it, I kept talking. I was a smart ass, but I kept talking. For example, at one point, while we were texting about work, out of the blue he asked me if a certain part of my (often referred to in the form of an animal) anatomy was wet. I responded “sorry, no, I only have dogs.” I was shocked that the person I remembered had blatantly come out and asked such a thing in such vulgar terms. Make no mistake, I've had plenty of vulgar dirty people say even more vulgar dirty things, so the statement didn't shock me so much as the person it was coming from. I'd hoped that maybe there was some kind of sarcasm or humor or even an old inside joke I had forgotten and that it just didn't read well in text. But, no. When I had responded about my dogs, he actually took the time to reply to explain not only that that was not what he meant, he had also taken the time to detail what he did mean. I couldn't do much beyond laugh. It was shocked laughter, but I don't think I could have formed a logical thought that would have allowed anything but laughter. I ignored him, but a few hours later there was an itch at the back of my brain that I couldn't identify.

 I let a few days slip by without talking. Then he started popping up with normal conversation again. But he started calling me bizarre pet names. That itch came back. As with most things Michele, I gracelessly dodged all of them because I was so confused by it all. Without getting into even more gory details, I finally pieced together that it wasn't him I was texting. I called him at the number we had talked on a couple of times and started grilling him about the texts. It was then that he informed me he had never texted me. After initial disbelief, I realized that was what the itching at the back of my head was...somehow, some way, I knew it wasn't him I was chatting with. Label me stupid. Or gullible. Or whatever. But, finally I had understanding about why I'd wondered so frequently if he had recently fallen out of a 12 step program; and it made me want to kick myself for only referencing text messages indirectly thinking he understood what I was talking about. It also taught me that in the future if I am talking to a person on one number and texting on another that I should not assume it is because one is a land line and the other a cell phone.

 After a discussion with him and another discussion with a friend of mine, I called the number that had been texting me. As luck would have it, I got voice mail that had not yet been set up. I asked the friend to call. She got the same message. A few minutes later, I received a text from yet another number. It turned out he likes dipping himself into batshit crazy women impersonating adults while they break into his facebook account and pretend to be him for extended periods. Given the disturbing turns in the conversations, I assume this freak also has yet unleashed lesbian fetishes that she's barely able to control. Why wouldn't she find me?!? This crazy woman informed me she loves him, blah, blah, blah and she's sorry she's been texting me from her moms phone, and she'd like to talk to me because boohoo, her life sucks. I responded to tell her she was knocking on the wrong door to be looking for sympathy, that if she had issues with him, that she should have taken them up with him and not involved me. I believe I also called her a psycho bitch, that she should check her bizarre fetishes, and that it's a little scary she's allowed to be free in the real world. I told her that if these were the type of games she likes to play she deserves what she gets and that she should just accept her place in the world. I also asked her exactly what defect was in her brain that she thought this type of shit was okay. (Really there were a lot more words, and I was a lot more insulting, but the way I see it, I wasn't nearly insulting enough.) Sadly, had she handled this differently, say, called me up and said, 'who are you, am I wasting my time trying to get with him?', I could almost understand. Somehow, absolute lack of self worth is more tolerable than combining it with all out insanity.

 The crazy thing is that I'm not a very jealous person. I have never felt the need to snoop through someone else's belongings or accounts to see if they might be hiding something. I've never felt the need to pretend to be someone else to get information, and as piss poor as I feel about myself some days, I've never lacked a level of self esteem that allows me pine away for someone who I obviously can't stand who probably feels the same way about me. We are operating on two so completely different levels that I honestly struggle to wrap my head around this sort of insanity.

 It scares me. People like this running loose.

I mean, she's allowed to influence the mind of a child. Take a lesson from me kids. Don't play catch up by text with an old friend without first hearing that friends voice.

 And, out of curiosity, because she never answered me, what mental defect do you suppose a woman must have that would drive her to do something like this?

 And, is it wrong that there's a vengeful part of me that wants the world to know she isn't operating on all cylinders? Don't answer that. It just feels right. :)